Lay Me to Sleep
by SOSintheBlackParade
Summary: Eli Goldworthy was the boyfriend any girl wanted and Clare Edwards was the lucky girl who got him. To any outsider, that was all it was, teenage love gone right. But what's lurking beneath the surface of this perfect boy is a monster that no one saw coming, who will change all that Clare has come to know.
1. Prologue

I was floating, a little girl's fantasy of flight gone terribly wrong. To the observer, in my white dress, I must have appeared a ghost, or perhaps, an angel. How strange it was to appear to be the very thing I was about to become in a manner of minutes.

That is, of course, if I was even to be accepted through the Gates after my crimes.

But my biggest crime of all, how could He see past such a sin? I loved and through my love came blindness. No, not blindness, ignorance, choosing not to see what was right in front of me. He could forgive blindness, but could he forgive ignorance.

Eli stood before me, his eyes filled with neither love nor hate, but rather the cruel, blackness that only a demon could possess. I had seen the look before, I had tried to return those eyes to the clear, deep emerald I so loved, but I knew that the blackness was always bound to return. Eli was strong but never strong enough.

I loved a man, I loved a killer, I loved a lover, and I loved a demon.

How could one who looked so much like an angel be hiding the Devil so deep inside?


	2. That Angelic Smirk

**Don't shoot but in order to fit the story I had to change Eli and Clare's way of meeting (but he still says she has pretty eyes!) Also, fair warning, this may turn in to M in later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: If only I owned Munro and Justin, my life would be wonderful. Alas….**

On the day that Eli Goldsworthy arrived at Degrassi, I was just getting back to my sophomore year of high school after a spring break of doing nothing more than volunteer work and hanging out with my best, and perhaps my only, friend, Alli. I was just that quiet girl no one noticed, the one that kept her voice down in class and her head down in the hallways.

Eli did none of these things. On his first day, he picked a fight with the school bully. Although he was a good six inches shorter and appeared to lack Fitz's muscle mass, Eli sent him soaring into the dumpsters within the first sixty seconds of the fight. I wasn't there to see the fight, violence never having been my style, but those who did see it were shaking from fear of the new boy. They said he was demented, they said he was dangerous. They shunned him right away and I was torn between sticking with my penchant for non-violence and condemning this boy with everyone else or embracing this boy, whose life at Degrassi wouldn't be simple with everyone already deciding that they hated him.

But my decision was made for me when I met this boy myself.

As the invisible underclassman I was, I was making my way to English, a new classroom thanks to the schedule change I had to do in order to take Creative Writing in the second semester. I was rushing through the halls, frantically looking this way and that for room 731, which seemed like it was not appearing just out of spite for me. I cradled my English notebook in my arms, my plaid, heavy backpack slung over my shoulder. The halls seemed to be emptying out now, as everyone else shuffled off class. Within a moment or so, I stood in the hall of the 700 wing, cursing myself for not knowing which way to go. I tried to count off in my head how much longer I had until the bell rang as I shuffled down the hall, but I was suddenly on the ground, my backpack having been pushed and it acting as a weight, throwing me off balance and bringing me down with it.

I looked up at my assaulter and Drew Torres's brown eyes looked back at me. Drew was a year older than me but had come to this school only a year before, as a sophomore. I'd spoken to him once or twice. He was in lower classes, occasionally in sophomore classes, so I'd worked with him on a couple projects. Essentially, he was a jock with an ego and a desire to get ever girl in school. Not really a good mix, but he wasn't such a bad guy.

"Watch it Edwards," he muttered, looking past me and looking at the numbers on the classrooms next to us. He just wasn't thinking about what he was saying, he was just as frazzled as I was to get to class on time.

I muttered back a sorry and pushed off the ground to stand up and steady myself. As if from nowhere, I black nailed hand reached out towards mine and it pulled me up. I scrambled to my feet an brushed myself off, avoiding making eye contact with the boy. As I reached for my backpack, I heard a smooth tenor voice saying, "'Excuse me, I believe you owe her an apology."

Drew snorted. "What's it to you, emo boy?"

The boy gave a sarcastic chuckle. "Emo boy. That's pretty good." He kept laughing, point a black nailed finger at Drew. "And hear I thought jocks had no wit."

"You think you're funny, tough guy? Everybody talks like you're Eli the Invincible. Like you're some kind of threat. Fitz is a weakling, but I'd like to see you go up against a real man."

"When you find one let me know."

Drew's fist was clenched around Eli's collar in an instant, lifting him off the ground so that they were eye level. "Do not underestimate me, little man," Drew growled.

But the voice that replied to Drew's threat could not be called a growl. I could not be described in mere words, the closest thing that it could possibly be compared to being the shrieks of a thousand ghosts, wailing, all in unison to say, "You know nothing of strength, boy."

Overhead, a light shattered and I reached up to cover my head from the falling shards. The sparks sprayed down upon Drew as Eli was spared, all the while watching Drew with a demonic smile as Drew dropped him back to his feet. Drew moved to cover his head as the shards broke his skin, leaving small rivets of blood in their place all over his body.

Eli just kept smiling. He kept smiling as Drew turned tail and ran, looking back behind him to be sure Eli wasn't following, occasionally stumbling over his own two feet.

Eli's smile only broke when Drew was out of sight. His smile was no longer a demonic one. Instead it was a sort of sweet, lopsided smirk. I looked him over. His hair was shaggy and a deep black and, when he reached up to push a strand out of his face, I saw an onyx ring on his thumb, matching the black of his nails. He was dressed in head to toe black, from his Dead Hand shirt and coat to his skinny jeans and combat boots. His eyes were a deep emerald, with a ring of black making them stand out even further.

I stumbled over my words as I reached to grab my backpack, trying to thank him, but not quite getting it right. I tried to sling my bag over my shoulder and grab my books but suddenly they were both in his hands.

"Allow me. I believe we both have English to get to anyway."

Again I tried to thank him, but failed miserably.

Eli smirked. "No problem." He started off in the direction he knew our class to be in, but stopped to look at me. "By the way, you have pretty eyes."

**So…..yes, no, maybe. Also I happen to like Drew but this story was based back in 2010, so there's no Dallas to fight. It had to be either Drew or Owen and Owen has gotten so much better recently I just couldn't do that to him. Drew will get over it. **

**So what do you think? I'd love to get a little feedback on this.**


	3. God Help the Outcasts

**Yay! I actually got some reviews! And they were pretty positive so I thought I'd keep going with this story. On to Eli and Clare's great love affair!**

**Disclaimer: It was my birthday Friday and no one bought me Munro...so I guess I can't say I own any of Degrassi, much to my dismay.**

Eli and I walked in silence to English, that smirk still plastered on his face. Every now and again I'd sneak a look up at him, but mostly I just stared at the ground. How do you speak to someone like this anyway? Hi, thank you for scaring the daylights out of some guy that really was absolutely no threat to me at all, but you are rather handsome so I guess I'll let it slide. You were only trying to help after all, but please next time let me fight my own battles. I do not need you to protect me.

As I ran over this monologue in my head, I kept thinking that there must be something, anything I could say. Eli didn't seem to mind the silence so much, but the silence to me became all the more deafening with my inner thoughts racing and trying to make sense of what just happened. It was only after a few minutes that I realized we'd never actually introduced ourselves.

I looked up at him and gave him a smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't really ever introduce myself. I'm..."

"Clare Edwards," he finished, looking down upon me, his green eyes sparking with what seemed like a strange mix of mischief and kindness. "I know, we had Chemistry together this morning."

I blushed, embarrassed that I had I hadn't been paying attention. How had I not noticed this boy earlier?

"Oh, don't beat yourself up about it," he said, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "I wasn't actually in that class. I was in the office, you know, because of the fight and all."

"So how did you know who I was then?"

"My councilor told me that if there was anyone in my classes who I should try to befriend, it would be Clare Edwards. She seems to think I've started off on the 'wrong foot,'" he explained, staring straight ahead, putting air quotes around wrong foot. "She wants me to get a fresh start and she seems to think I could do that by making friends with the do-gooder, Christian girl."

I played with the cross at my neck, looking up at him, not knowing what to make of him. It was easy to tell that he wasn't putting much stock in what the councilor said. He wasn't interested in any right foot and I doubted that the councilor had forced him into befriending me. He didn't seem like the type who could be forced into anything. So why did he try to help me? Why was he standing here, carrying my books and walking me to class?

As I was lost in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed that he'd stopped walking. "Ready?" he said, motioning towards the door. Inside, my, or rather our, English class was well underway. I was going to be marked tardy on my first day back. I hesitated walking in and letting Ms. Dawes put a black mark on my record and Eli seemed to notice my hesitation. "Or we can skip."

I looked up at him, his small smirk growing more prominent. "You do what you want," I declared, strangely disheartened when I saw his face fall. "I'm not that type of girl."

The mischief was back in his eyes in an instant and his smirk grew again. "Yeah, we'll see."

I chose to ignore his little statement and pushed past him, knowing that every second I stood and argued this was another second I was late to class. I walked in and the entire class looked towards the door, all eyes on me.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Dawes, I got lost," I quickly explained, a blush creeping up on my cheeks, my eyes flickering towards the floor and back to her. She gave a small smile and had kind eyes, but, nonetheless, she moved towards her desk to mark me tardy.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Edwards, but that's no excuse. You're fifteen minutes late. Surely you couldn't be that lost." If only she knew.

Suddenly, I could feel a presence behind me, Eli crossing the threshold into the classroom. He placed an oddly protective hand on the small of my back and I heard him say in a voice that was both his and not his, "Oh, I don't think you want to do that Ms. Dawes. Cut her a little slack."

To everyone else in the room, it was a simple, rather cocky statement from the new guy; I however felt a chill go down my spine. There was a weird power in those words, but for some reason I was the only one who knew. I was the only one who he let know. There was more to Eli than just the new guy, just the guy who liked to fight, who liked trouble. There was something about him that made me feel like he wasn't just a guy at all.

For a moment, Ms. Dawes just looked above my head, to Eli, a little dazed. "Already, Ms. Edwards," she said, her eyes still on Eli. "Just this one time. Go take a seat."

Eli's hand removed itself from my back and I heard him step down the aisle. I turned my neck, like everyone else in the room, to watch as he placed my bag and books on a desk and he took the seat next to it. He motioned me to the back with him and, without hesitation, I walked back to meet him.

My cheeks burned as I felt every eye in that room boring into me. I looked around at who I'd be having English with for the next semester and met the confused eyes of Alli and a nice boy who I'd met this morning, who I had Chemistry and Algebra II with, Adam. They were the only confused, moderately kind eyes in the room other than Ms. Dawes. Everyone else in the room were Juniors, who I barely knew and who barely knew me enough to make a judgment call on who I was. But they had made up their minds about me in an instant. A girl named Marisol, a boy named Owen, along with Fitz and his lackeys, all glared at me. I was the traitor who had befriended the new guy. Eli was crazy, Eli was the new school bully, Eli was the one to be feared. Fitz was a teddy bear in comparison to Eli. Everybody knew that. I was beginning to suspect that they may have been right. Yet all the same, I gave Eli a quick smile, enamored by his smirk, and took the seat next to him.

I'd always been the outcast, may as well start to have a little fun with it.

**Hope you liked it! I'd love a few reviews (belated birthday presents?)! I gave myself a little present and took a mental health day, which is why I'm updating so early in the morning. I doubt I'll be updating this as frequently after this, but I'll be updating at least each weekend. **

**Also, 8 days and counting to the new season! My predictions based on the promos (especially the MuchMusic promo): Cam is definitely jumping off the roof after Maya cheats on him with that new guy, Dallas's daughter, who he had with his old castmate from The Latest Buzz, is coming to stay with Dallas for a time, Eli and Clare will be pushed apart by Eli's ecstasy addiction and his short affair with Talia who is also his dealer, Eli is not going to graduate and is going to rehab, Adam is either going to die at the hands of someone by accident or will kill himself or is harassed to the point that he will leave Degrassi. I definitely think something big is going to happen to Adam within the first few episodes. He supposedly has a huge plot in the first two episodes, yet he's not even shown in the promos. I think the writers are trying to cover up the plot so that no one suspects that he's going to have a huge change. **

**But these are all predictions after all. I guess we will all just have to wait and see next Friday!**


	4. Showdown of Wills

**Sooooo….who watched Friday? Cam! I just can't believe it! And now Eli is going to have a downward spiral after seeing a lifeless boy's body crumbled on the Degrassi sidewalk and Dallas is going to blame himself for the whole thing and Maya is clearly losing it. Ugh, Degrassi writers, you are killing me. Anyway on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, though, I would be writing a way to get Eli and Clare to have their first time and a way for Cam to live. I wouldn't be writing this.**

"Clare!" I shoved my book bag on my back and looked over my shoulder at Adam, who was falling over the chairs to get to me. "Hold on a second."

He reached me and looked out of the corner of his eye. Eli was gathering his books together, taking his time. Anyone could tell he was hanging back to listen to our conversation. Adam didn't seem to care and he just looked at me, concerned.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, eyes wide, grabbing my arm to turn us so that we wouldn't be facing Eli.

"What are you talking about?" I feigned innocence.

"You know what I'm talking about. Everybody knows he's not safe. There's something wrong with him. I don't know. I just…I get this feeling something's not right."

I looked over at Eli who was facing us dead on now. He smirked back at me and rolled his eyes playfully. Clearly he could hear every word Adam was saying. He made his way over to us and held out a hand for Adam. "Eli Goldsworthy. Look, I appreciate your concern and all. It's…refreshing to hear someone show so much caring for their friend, but you have nothing to worry about, I swear. Look, I'm not trying to cause any trouble."

"You threw Fitz in dumpster."

"He and his buddies were ganging up on a little niner. What would you have done?"

Adam looked Eli over, considering him. He looked him up and down and then looked at the hand that Eli still had extended. Eli looked at him with a friendly smile, the first time I'd seen with an expression different from the smirk.

Adam took his hand. "Adam Torres." They shook hands for a moment then Adam said, "Yeah, okay I get it. Look, you have to understand you haven't started off with the greatest rep around here. I've heard everything from psycho to terrorist. I'm sorry I just…didn't want to see one of my best friends getting caught up in that."

"No dude I get it," Eli assured him, shooting him and me a comforting look. "I'm not looking to hurt Clare. In fact that's the last thing I want to do."

And there it was again. Why was I so important? Why did he care at all? We'd only just met.

"As touching as this all is boys," I interrupted, trying to walk past them. "I have to get to math. On time this time would be nice."

"Ah, perfect," Eli said, and suddenly he was again carrying my bag. "I have calculus as well."

I stopped for a moment and looked up at him. He stopped dead in his tracks. "I didn't say I had calculus."

He stuttered for a moment then composed himself. "You seem like a smart girl. One of the brightest, I'd say. I figured you'd skip precalc. Went straight for the hard stuff."

Adam seemed satisfied and walked out of the class saying that he was going to go catch up to Alli since they both had US History. I however wasn't so satisfied. Suddenly Eli wasn't so easily looking me in the eyes, as if I'd somehow caught him in a little lie.

He watched Adam leaving the classroom and, without turning around, he said, "I like him. Seems like a good guy. Come on, Saint Clare. I know how you don't like being late."

I followed a step behind him as he shouldered his and my bags. He wouldn't turn back to look at me and I watched him contemplating how to begin. I decided being blunt would be best. "Are you stalking me?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned on his heels. I half expected him to look angry, green eyes flaming and his lips in a snarl. But I was way off. Instead he looked rather hurt and I immediately wanted to take back what I said. "It's just…" I started. "You were in the hall when I was…with Drew…and you seem to know my schedule."

Eli wiped the hurt look off his face. The smirk was back and he turned back on his heel toward the math wing again. "My guidance counselor, Ms. Angelwood, she wanted me to get to know you better so she told me all the classes I'd be in with you. I didn't want to tell you earlier for exactly this reason. I didn't want to come off as some stalker." He chuckled. "I guess that was a failure."

I was still a step behind him but I quickened my paces to catch up and looked him over. Despite his chuckle, his eyes were cast downward and the tips of his ears had turned a bright red. "Why does your guidance counselor want you to be friends with me so badly?"

He chuckled again. "Like I said, you're apparently the good little Christian girl," he looked me in eyes as he said, "Maybe she thinks you can save me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah? You think you need saving?"

He raised his eyebrows in return. "Well, she seems to think so. Me? Nah. If I'm going down, I'm going honest." He smirked wider. "But, hey, basically she said 'Go hang out with this gorgeous girl and I'll get off your back.' How could I say no?"

I felt a blush creep up my neck and Eli's eyes boring into me to the point I had to look away. "Gorgeous, huh? So Ms. Angelwood thinks I'm gorgeous now?"

He rolled his eyes. "Well I may be paraphrasing a bit…Anyway she thinks you'll be a "good influence,'" he said, air quotes and all.

"Yeah?" I mused. "Well, what if you're a bad influence?"

He smirked wildly. "Oh, I am."

"So sure? What if you end up corrupting me instead of me saving you?"

"Well that's the goal anyway. It's a battle of wills, mine versus yours, and I'm just saying your odds aren't so good, Edwards."

He seemed like he was going to go on but suddenly I realized the halls were nearly empty again and I interrupted him.

"Crap, we're going to be late again," I grabbed his hand and I stopped in my tracks and nearly forgot where I was going in the first place. It was so odd. It was as if only my hand would fit in his. There was some sort of electricity going through my body and one look at Eli showed that he felt it too. I shook my head of the thought. I'd deal with whatever this is later but we had to go.

But the bell rang overhead and I let out a groan. Eli laughed at looked down at me, noticing the fact that I still hadn't let go of his hand. He raised his eyebrows. "Sorry, Edwards. Seems like today's not your lucky day."

I looked back up at him and couldn't help but return his smile. "Oh, I'm not so sure about that."

**So, what'd you think? Be brutal! I can take it! **


	5. Losing Balance

**I can't believe I'm updating two days in a row. I'm pretty sure this has never happened before. This may never happen again, so I'm very excited.**

**Disclaimer: Alright alright you get it! Let's just get on with the story.**

"My, my, my, Clare Edwards, I've never quite seen that look before," Eli grinned at me as I made my way towards where he and Adam stood in front of his locker. My face was red but it wasn't from embarrassment, but pure anger. I glared back at him and shoved his papers against his chest. "Didn't like my story?"

"You made me a floozy," I was seething. I've been called a lot of things: a know-it-all, a goody-two-shoes, a saint. Never in my life have I been considered a floozy.

"She's an ingénue. Besides, how do you even know you and her are the same?"

"Clara Edwin," beside me Adam gave a chuckle and I shot him a glare to shut him up. "Anybody here could tell you based this character on me. I'm not a floozy."

Eli rolled his eyes and looked at Adam as if to say, _Women, huh?_ Adam gave short snort in his attempt not to laugh. Eli grinned down at me and said, "Well, we'll see."

I looked at him with wide eyes. Did he really just say that? Who was he to insult me? Did he just basically call me a slut? I was stunned speechless, but I tried to protest, ending up with me opening and shutting my mouth like a fish out of water. Eli took the opportunity to go on. "Like I said last week, Edwards. It's a battle of wills. This story is sort of foreshadowing what is to come of us."

I finally found my voice again to interrupt him. "I thought you knew I was kidding."

Eli laughed. "Oh, Clare. I'm not much of a kidder. We were making a bet."

"I'm sorry, a bet?" I just kept getting madder every moment and the angrier I got, the harder he laughed. "And what, pray tell, do I get when I win?"

Eli stopped laughing and his smirk was showing, mischief growing in his eyes. "When _I _win…well I'm thinking you and I celebrate your new-found floozy-ness." He glanced down at my chest and back up at me. "If you know what I mean." Adam laughed, but shut up quickly when he saw how hurt I was. Was that all Eli wanted from me? Corrupt the little Catholic girl, make her break her oath, and leave her lying soiled and disgusted with herself? Eli laughed a little until Adam elbowed him and he watched as I felt the beginning prickles of tears form in my eyes. But I wouldn't let him see me upset so I turned on my heel and walked quickly away, wiping absently at my eyes.

"Wait, Clare, I swear, I wasn't…I didn't mean to upset you…I didn't know…" Eli ran to catch up to me, grabbing my hand and turning me to face him. I tried to tear my hand away, despite the tingling feeling I again felt in my hand from his touch. He looked down at my hand, for the first time noticing the thin silver band I wore. "I didn't know. I mean I knew you were a good girl and religious and all but I didn't know how far it extended. I didn't want to hurt you. I could never do that to you. Please, I'm sorry. I guess I'm too messed up. I just push the envelope way too far and I should've have said that. No bet, I promise."

I wiped away at my eyes and he pulled my hand away, reaching his own up to wipe away a tear that had slipped down my cheek. The mischief in his eyes was gone, concern and fear shining through its place. This was the Eli I would come to love. In that very moment, looking at the way he cared, I knew I was already falling for him. I smiled. "Maybe a bet isn't such a bad idea. Who knows? I'll probably end up being a good influence on you."

Eli smiled. "Let's not talk about bets right now. How about we agree that we both balance each other out pretty well?" I nodded. "And you know what they say about opposites attracting?" I nodded again. "I think that's why I'm here, why I found you. I think this was all supposed to happen somehow. I think maybe you are supposed to save me," he mumbled as his voice got quieter and quieter, his lips getting closer and closer to mine as he cupped my cheek, his thumb gently stroking it. He held back a moment, his lips just a few centimeters away from mine, as if he was asking me if this was okay, but I couldn't wait a moment longer. It was as if something had completely come over me, but I just wanted to feel his lips on mine. So I closed the gap between us, feeling his soft lips mover against mine.

It was soft, chaste, and he moved away a bit first before stopping, smiling, and going in quickly for another kiss, this one harder and rougher. I'm not sure with one I loved more. His tongue moved against my lower lip, demanding entrance, and I gladly gave him access. Our tongues fought a battle for dominance but he won, his arm snaking itself around my waist to pull me closer to him.

Someone cleared their throat and I broke away from him. I was a little dazed to say the least, but I could feel a blush creep its way up my cheeks. Eli was just grinning.

Adam looked back at us, eyebrows raised. "I came to check to be sure that everything was alright, but…" He broke off and I avoided his eyes, but I couldn't suppress the smile anymore. "I can see I had nothing to worry about. So what is this exactly?"

Eli seemed surprised by the question. I wasn't sure whether or not he'd ever answered that question before. Eli never seemed like the type to have a girlfriend. _But he does now,_ something in the back of my head said. But I couldn't just say that. It wasn't like Eli and I had ever decided that we were dating. This all just sort of happened and I didn't want to put Eli on the sot like that.

I smiled at Adam and went to reassure him that nothing was going on, but Eli jumped in before I could. "Well, I think I was just kissing my girlfriend."

**So, what'd you think? Review please! I'm going to try to update again tomorrow but I'm not sure when I'm going to update again. Hopefully the weekend but I'm not sure so, please, enjoy it while it lasts! Thanks and Happy President's Day!**


	6. Safety in Numbers

**So I almost didn't update this after Friday's episode. Let's face it, I'm a wreck. I miss Cam. I've watched the episode five times already. Cried every time. Oh, and I'm seriously pissed at Eli after seeing the preview for next week. Cuddling up with some weird chick, taking pills you don't even know the side effects off. Really, Eli? I know you went through something traumatizing but after everything you went through with your disorder, you turned to ecstasy? **

**Sorry ranting….on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, Cam and Maya would be living happily ever after, as would Eli and Clare, Zig and Tori, Anya and Owen, Holly J and Declan, Fiona and Imogen, Adam and Becky, KC and Jenna, and Dallas and Alli. **

If I thought I was an outcast before, I was a leper now. Walking down the hall with Eli's arm wrapped around me, everyone seemed to turn tail and walk the other way, like we were diseased. The only one that ever seemed to hang around was Adam. Somehow he and Eli had become best friends, which, in a way does sort of make sense. Adam's was the school's biggest outcast, being born Gracie, but now Eli's taken over the position. I think Adam was sort of grateful.

For a week after our kiss, Eli and I were nearly inseparable. We spent every afternoon at The Dot, bouncing some ideas for writing back and forth, talking about our favorite things and getting to know each other better, and occasionally just making out at our little booth in the corner.

That Friday we were seated in our booth, on the same side, me with my head on Eli's shoulder, his arm around me. We sipped our coffee in silence, just enjoying each other's company. So serene, so calm, neither of us needing to say a word. Just happy.

That is, until Adam came rushing into through the doors, frantically making his way over to our table. He took the seat across from us and I jolted my head up off Eli's shoulder at the fear in Adam's eyes. Eli was more than dismayed and resisted against my motion.

"Adam? What's wrong?" Adam looked between me and Eli and I looked up at Eli, who looked angry at the interruption. Adam was stuttering over his words.

"Well? Spill it, Adam."

Adam looked up at Eli and took a breath. "Fitz. He's getting a gang together. Owen, Riley, even Drew, and a bunch of other guys. All of them are coming after you. Drew convinced them not to come after me, but that just means that they'll go behind his back to get to you and me."

Eli gave a chuckle. "So what? I beat Fitz, once. I'll just do it again."

"But that's just it! It's not just Fitz! He's got, like , twenty guys! And you embarrassed Fitz! I've fought this guy before and seen him in a hundred other fights. He won't fight fair."

"Adam, what exactly are you saying?" I questioned, more looking at Eli than Adam. He was still chuckling.

"I'm saying, knives, guns, any weapon he can get his hands on where he knows he can't lose."

My breath caught in my throat, but Eli just kept smiling. "You think I'm ever going to be scared of that prick? I don't care what he's got. Just let me handle it."

"You think you can handle twenty guys yourself?" I was incredulous. I mean, Eli's cocky, but he just sounded so ridiculous.

"Of course not, not even I can do that."

"So what's the plan then?"

"I'll get Fitz away from the other guys. Without their little leader, the other guys will give up and leave us be."

Eli looked down at me and smiled. "I promise, I'm not going to let anything happen to you or Adam," he whispered into my hair, kissing the top of my head. He looked back up at Adam. "In the meantime, you should stay with us. It's better if we stay together. You're right. They will go behind Drew's back to get to you and, in Fitz's mind, the sooner the better."

Adam nodded, but he kept his head turned towards the window, as if he expected someone to be outside at any moment, a gun cocked and pointed at him behind the glass. He looked so small and helpless.

"Adam," I said, attempting to call him back to reality. Adam final turned back towards us, his eyes wary. I felt a heavy overhang of guilt at looking at him. He wouldn't be in this situation if he wasn't my friend, if he hadn't befriended Eli. If I'd never dragged him into Eli and my life, he wouldn't fear for his life right now.

"Adam," I said again, getting up from the table. "I'll get grab you a cup of coffee." He nodded and moved to get his wallet but I insisted I got it. He nodded again and thanked me as I made my way to the counter.

"One coffee, cream, no sugar," I said to the barista, having memorized Adam's order from all the times we'd spent our afternoon's here. I handed the guy a five and leaned back against the counter, waiting. I looked over at my table to Eli and Adam and Adam had a slight smile on his face. I smiled a bit myself as I watched Eli try to ease Adam's mind. Within a moment or two, he made Adam laugh again.

"Hey," someone suddenly said next to me, startling me. I looked back at Alli. She was fiddling with the hem of her shirt and was avoiding my eyes.

"Hey," I muttered back, just as Adam's coffee was ready. I thanked the guy and handed him a tip, just before I was about to make my way back to the table, but Alli grabbed my arm.

"I saw Adam run in here before. What's wrong?"

I turned back to her and shrugged off her arm. "I haven't seen you around for a while," I said back, my voicing dripping with ice, ignoring her question.

"I know. But I'm concerned about you and Adam, okay? Why was he so scared?"

I rolled my eyes and was about to go back to the table when I decided I might as well tell her. "Fitz and a bunch of guys are coming after Eli and they are coming after Adam by extent," I said, trying to sound as detached as possible. I just kept thinking _Eli can handle this. Eli can handle this._

Alli, however, was a bit more concerned. "How are you not panicking right now? You've seen Adam in a fight against one guy before. He's never been a fighter. He doesn't stand a chance against a bunch of guys!"

"Oh, so now you're concerned?"

Alli took a breath, obvious that she hadn't approached me for an argument, but I was too angry not to fight. "Look," she said. "I'm worried, okay? This is all that guy Eli's fault. He started this mess but wasn't big enough to end it. Now Adam is paying the price for the fight Eli picked!"

If I was mad before, I was fuming now. Who was she to judge Eli? She deserted us! "You don't know anything so just go back into hiding. Adam and I both don't need you voicing your _concern_."

"Clare, you know I'm right. This isn't you. Eli isn't the type of guy you should be with and you know it. He didn't pick any fight."

"He threw Fitz in a dumpster!"

"Fitz is the bully here, not Eli! Why are you protecting him?"

"I'm not protecting him! I'm not saying that you should start dating Fitz, I'm just saying you shouldn't be going out with a guy who is so _violent. You don't know what he's capable of. He could hurt anybody_."

Oh how right she was. But I still ignored, walked back to my table, took a seat next to Eli, and wrapped his arm back around me.

**So, what'd you think? Reviews are most appreciated! Be brutal!**


	7. Holy Angels Above

**Sorry it's been a while. I've been doing so much testing for school my brain is basically fried. But I am in a writing mood so let's see how this goes. **

**This chapter is in third person omniscient in order to provide a little Eli backstory. The rest of the chapters will continue in Clare's POV. **

**Also, is anybody else really pissed at Eli right now? Although I do have to admit I'm more than happen to watch a naked Eli streak across Degrassi.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, I wouldn't have spent three hours every day for the past three days writing essays and doing reading comprehension and answering math questions that I learned how to do several years ago. I would've been out with Munro.**

Eli Goldsworthy always liked religion. In a way at least. There was a strange beauty of the one thing you knew you could never have.

Everywhere he moved, which happened about twice a year, he found a way to the nearest church. He had stopped trying to go in, the last time having been when he was five. That was the first and final time, when his skin had burned and itched, leaving an unbearable ache that no child could endure. He sat in the pew squirming, his mother on his right telling him to shush and be a good boy while his father on his left chuckled under his breath. He couldn't sit still though, but he wanted to be a good boy for his mother. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and tears began to streak silently down his cheeks. He stared straight ahead, his jaw set firmly, as he felt his insides burning and the tears just flew faster and faster. But the ached, itched, but mostly burned, especially burned, like someone had set fire to all of his limbs and organs.

The fire just kept growing, encasing him and making it hard to breathe. Then he saw the burn marks begin to show in his arms. He saw his reflection in one of the stained glass windows, seeing the beginning of a scar forming across his face, the fire ravishing his features. That was when he ran. In the middle of the sermon, he jumped from his seat, over his parents, and didn't stop running until he made it home.

His mother was angry at first. She was raised a good Christian and no son of hers would make such a mockery of her family in church. But then she saw the scars, the tearstains, the pain in his eyes. That was the last time anyone in the Goldsworthy family went to church.

At least as far as Cece and Bullfrog were concerned. Eli just couldn't stay away. In every new town he went to, he would find his way to church every Sunday. Most of the time, he hid away behind some stained glass window, just watching the preacher give his sermons, his animated movements as the congregation watched. Sometimes the congregations he found were clearly there out of some duty and force and they stared back bored. Sometimes the congregations were just as animated as the preacher. Eli could hear their "Amens" and hymns through the glass then. He liked that.

But Eli had thought he'd hit the jackpot when he arrived at Degrassi. Our Lady of Holy Angels was a church that had been built long, long ago, rumored to have been during the time of the Great Awakening. Just standing near it, Eli could feel the history in the bricks and mortar. Yet, the church had been falling apart for some time and had been recently refurbished. On Eli's first Sunday in town, he made his way to the church and found that a skylight had been added overtop, a way, they said, to let God's light in. Instead of having to watch the sermons from behind a stained glass window, barely able to make out figures, he could watch from overhead.

By the time he'd found the fire escape and climbed his way to the roof, mass had just begun.

The father, who's name Eli had not known, had already begun his sermon. "And I ask you, do you deny that we are all sinners?"

Eli chuckled. "This guy is already speaking my language."

The congregation answered, "No, Father."

"The only true human being that was not a sinner was Jesus, but he was more than human, a divinity himself. We are all born of Adam and Eve, a great shame we must bear, but He, the ever merciful, absolves us of these sins and lets us be reborn. Shall we take this absolution for granted and continue the way of the serpent?"

Eli grinned, but his eyes were sad. "You, Father, truly know nothing. Some of us don't have such a choice."

"No, Father!" they chanted back.

It was as if he hadn't heard them. He'd only seem to have heard Eli and was answering directly. "He graced us all, each and every one, with a soul and in that soul is the ability to _choose._ To choose good and evil, heaven and hell. He is merciful. Should you repent, you open the doorway to heaven, a doorway that is open to any of God's loyal servants. It is never too late to become one. He is waiting for you to become one. Will you let the Lord down?"

Eli remained silent.

"No, Father!"

"And will you repent?"

Eli whispered, "I would," just as the congregation shouted back, "Yes, Father!"

The organ began to echo through the church as the congregation stood, hymn books open. He had heard this hymn before and hummed along.

"Earthly pleasures vainly call me. I would be like Jesus; nothing worldly shall enthrall me. I would be like Jesus," they sung in unison. This was the type of congregation Eli liked, the ones that sang loud and clear. Such faith, could give even the damned hope. Even Eli. He smiled down upon them, humming, occasionally taking up the cry as well. "That His words 'Well done' may greet me," he whispered.

At the end of the hymn, the father invited the everyone up for the Eucharist, to take a sip of the wine and a bite of the bread. Eli never quite understood why they did that; it never seemed to make any sense to him so he moved to climb down from the fire escape before anyone caught him, while they were all too busy to notice.

That's when he first saw her. Her curly hair was cropped in a bob, bangs falling sweetly over her eye. She was tucking in shyly behind her ears as she took the bread of Christ. She wasn't very tall and the way she tried to hide, ducking down and avoiding eyes, made her look even smaller. She looked young, but not much younger than him, and she had curves of a girl much older. The only way that Eli could describe her was much the same as the religion she practiced, a word he'd never used to describe another girl. Beautiful.

"Clare Edward," he could hear the priest say, a smile in his voice. "So good to see you. I can always count on you to be here every Sunday. Such a good girl. And I hear you've signed up to teach bible camp this summer. This congregation is lucky to have you."

Eli could see her lips move but couldn't hear anything. She was obvious a little quiet, which matched her soft exterior. Her quiet voice could not match up with the father's booming one.

Within a moment or two, she saw her turn to leave and Eli decided then and there that she was the one. He had to meet her. Before his mind decided that, his legs had already carried him down the steps of the fire escape and down to the church entrance.

He searched frantically through the crowd of church-goers as they exited, looking left and right for the girl, all the while thinking, _I can change this. She can change me. _

But she was already gone.

**Thoughts? I hope the church scenes were ok. I don't know all that much about religion but I really wanted to explain why Eli was so obsessed with meeting Clare.**

**Okay, thanks for reading and I would really appreciate a few reviews. It would make my week!**


	8. Mother Dearest

**Wow it's been a while. I was more than distraught from the lack of reviews on the last chapter which really put me in a funk. I hope this chapter is a little better. **

**Disclaimer: You get the point…**

"Eli?"

"Hmm?"

"We've been dating for a little while now…"

"Yeah, a few weeks. What are you getting at, Clare?"

Eli and I were lying on my bed, as we often did after school. My mother and father were arguing downstairs, some money issues, I don't know. They had met Eli a couple of weeks or so ago. When they let him pass right by, barely an investigation, I was more than a little shocked, but then again Eli always had some pretty powerful powers of persuasion.

I lied with my head on his chest, his heart beating softly beneath his chest, as his fingers stroked my arms lightly. We could've laid like that for hours. In fact, we often did.

"You met my parents a while ago…"

"And you want to meet mine. Well I can answer that fast. No."

I looked up at him, hurt, but his eyes kept looking straight at the wall in front of the bed, his eyelids half closed, a look of pure calmness.

The hurt seeped through my voice and immediately his eyes snapped back to mine, wide open. "Why, Eli? Don't you think they'd like me?"

He tried to chuckle, but it came out choked. "Oh, Bullfrog will love you, although you'll have to get used to a few, umm, off color comments, but you'd learn to like him."

"So what's wrong?"

Eli's eyes darkened a cloudless black that would've shocked anyone. Anyone but me. The first time I'd seen them was the first time we'd met, when he scared Drew, but I'd convinced myself that it was nothing. Once every couple of days or so I'd see those eyes, maybe at the mention of Fitz, maybe when another boy looked my way when we went out. I'd learned to stop convincing myself. There was something there that other boys, maybe normal boys, didn't have. But I wasn't scared. See, those eyes, those black eyes, I associated with anger, yes, but more than that. A pain that he couldn't control. He was angry that he'd let Fitz threaten Adam and hurt that he hadn't been there to protect him. He was angry that other boys were looking my way and had a painful feeling that I might leave him for one of them. Every time I saw those eyes all I wanted to do was see them gone, make the pain go away.

I brought a hand up to his cheek and stroked my thumb against it. He blinked his eyes a few times and eventually they opened again, half lids covering his cloudy greens.

"Clare. My mother and I…we don't get along all that well. It's like she's afraid to see me happy."

"Eli, she's your mother. I'm sure she wants to see you happy."

His eyes snapped back to mine. Not black, just green, just angry like anyone else's. His eyes weren't black when they faced me. He couldn't face me like a monster. He couldn't live with himself that way.

His voice was more menacing though then most others were capable of. I don't know if he knew how to control that half as well as the eyes. It sounded like a thousand shrieks as he muttered, "Please don't say things that you don't know the full story on. You know nothing."

I buried my head in his chest, not wanting to hear anymore, unable to help the trembling. I could deal with the eye because I never had to see the eyes head on. That voice was a whole different story that I couldn't handle.

A knock came at my door. "Clare, honey, is everything okay in there? I thought I heard something."

I lifted my head to answer but Eli had beat me to it. "Yes, Ms. Edwards, everything is fine. Nothing to worry about." We sat in silence for a beat before my mother's footsteps disappeared.

"I'm sorry," Eli and I both began to say, but I cut him off and continued. "I just wanted to meet them. I didn't mean to push you."

He shook his head and stared straight ahead again, not wanting to meet my eyes. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have gotten angry. I shouldn't have scared you. I'm sorry. You're right. You're my girlfriend and my parents should meet you."

This time I shook my head. "No, Eli, I didn't want to push you into this. We can wait."

"No," Eli was adamant as he got up and pulled me to my feet. "I'll call my parents. Tell them you and I will be home for dinner."

The ride to Eli's house was quiet. I don't think I'd ever seen Eli nervous before. Usually, no matter how much I protested, he'd have his music blasting from the speakers. This time, all was quiet, except for Eli clearing his throat and taking a deep breath every now and again.

We walked up the steps slowly, Eli looking like he was going to the noose. He stuck his head through the front door and called out if anyone was home.

He took my hand and led me into the foyer as a man came bounding down the steps like a child at Christmas. He took my other hand and shook it frantically. "Is this Clarabelle? Do my eyes deceive me? And here I thought Eli would never break and bring you home!" I couldn't help but smile back at Bullfrog. He was wildly unshaven, much different than the way his son kept up his appearance. His eyes were bright and inviting and his smile took up most of his face.

"Hi," I said with a laugh. "Just Clare, please. It's so nice to finally meet you."

Bullfrog's smile just grew even more.

"Clare," a soft voice called from the kitchen. Bullfrog and Eli both froze and turned. A woman stood in the door of the kitchen, a small smile on her face. She had Eli's dark green eyes but they looked world weary. They looked back at mine with gloom and pity. They had bags all around, as if she hadn't slept in years. Maybe she had never truly slept since Eli's birth. She had a small frame as well, fragile, and perhaps she hadn't eaten since Eli's birth either. Like her husband and unlike her son, she looked a little unkempt.

"Clare," she said again, her voice whisper soft. "It's so nice to finally meet you. We'd been wondering when Eli would bring you around." She shook my head, daintier than I think Bullfrog would have possibly been capable of. "So lovely," she muttered.

I turned to Eli, a little frightened of this woman in front of me. Eli noticed and his eyes turned icy. "Clare," he said, his eyes on the woman. "This is my mother, Cece. Cece, Clare."

"It's so nice to meet you, Ms. Goldsworthy."

"Cece, please. It's so nice to meet you, too."

The silence that followed was maddeningly awkward, when no one seemed capable to meet each other's eyes but all Cece could do was stare back at me, until Eli broke the silence and asked what was for dinner.

"Penne vodka, your favorite. Clare, I hope that's alright."

"Yes, that sounds delicious. Is there anything I can do to help?" I offered anyway because that was what my mother taught me to do. I hadn't really expected her to say yes but suddenly she'd taken my hand and whisked me away to the kitchen.

She dropped my hand suddenly as if it had burned her and she suddenly faced the stove. "Ms. Goldsworthy? Cece?"

"Clare," her voice had gotten softer, as if that were even possible. "Please sit dear. Dinner can wait for a bit. We need to talk."


	9. Monster and Myth

**Wow, I'm so sorry it's been so long. I won't hold you any longer. Just disclaimer: Degrassi has never been, is not presently and will probably never be mine.**

**Story time!**

"Cece? Are you alright?" The small woman's form was shaking slightly and when she looked up I could see lines of pain around her eyes.

She took a breath, straightening herself, more for my benefit then her own. She could see how scared she was making me. "Yes, dear," she said. "I'm alright. Please take a seat. The boys are enraptured in that X-box. They won't notice if dinner's a little late."

Placing a hand on the back of the chair, I watched her sit first and watched her still as I swiped the chair back to sit down. The entire time she too seemed to watch my movements.

"Ms. Goldsworthy, ah, Cece, what is it that you have to talk to me about?"

Cece shook her head and looked down at the table. Curling her hands, she placed them on the table in front of her intermittently squeezing them. "Now, Clare, Eli's told us what a smart girl you are. Says you're at the top of your class. Don't play dumb with me."

I placed my hands in my lap, trying to find something to do with them, and I ended up just playing with the hem of my skirt. I stared down at it.

"Clare. Eli never told you about Julia, did he?"

Taking a breath, I shook my head. I listened as she took a breath to begin the story, but I cut her off. "I think he'd rather tell me. When the time is right."

Her eyes snapped into focus with mine and I felt myself shrink a little, even in the presence of such a fragile looking woman. Her eyes tried in vain to hide their contempt for me. Again she said, "Don't play dumb with me."

I cleared my throat and tried again to muster up some courage. My voice faltered slightly as I asked the question I could never ask Eli. "Do you know what he is?"

All of my hope for clarification drained from me as she shook her head slowly. "But," she said. "I have seen more than you have."

My eyes narrowed on her and I suddenly heard Eli's voice reminding me that his mother doesn't like to see him happy. Was she just trying to get rid of me? "Meaning what?" I intoned.

She sighed and stared down at the hands that seemed to be squeezing and unsqueezing on their own. "You've seen the eyes." She didn't look up for my clarification. "And heard the voice." Again she just went on. "He can control people. I don't know if you've seen that yet. Heck, I don't know if he's used it on you."

I cut her off. "He would never."

She shot me a sideways glance. "Never say never," she warned, before continuing on with her list. "He can control objects to, make things move if he wants them to." I nodded again, remembering that he'd managed to break the light over Drew. But that was to protect me, not hurt me. The only other time I'd seen him use it was if he and I were in my room and I said I was cold. He'd move the blanket over me. Not exactly sinister.

"I know about all of that," I told her, almost smugly. Eli had let me in on everything. He wasn't hiding anything from me. This woman in front of me was just as Eli said. She just wanted to hurt us.

A small smirk crossed her face, not unlike her son's. "Did he tell you that he can't enter a church?"

My hands froze, gripping on to my pant leg and I just stared at her. "I'll take that as a no," she whispered. "He burns. From the inside out. He was just a child the first time it happened. One minute he was sitting in the pew, the next his body was covered in scars from a fire that was never there." Her mind seemed to drift a bit as she stared at the wall ahead of her. "My poor baby, I thought. He was so scared."

Staring down at my hands, I broke in suddenly in a hushed voice. "He's still scared."

Her focused snapped back to me. "No, you don't understand. I love my son. I love my baby. But the thing with those black eyes. That's not my son. And the older Eli gets, the further away he gets and the more the thing with the black eyes comes to the surface."

I thought about what she was saying. The thing with the black eyes. There seemed to simpler phrasing than that but I just couldn't bring myself to use the word. _Demon._ I thought that word over and over again but I couldn't say it out loud.

Cece interrupted my thoughts. "You know we move around a lot. Most of the time it's because some poor soul winds up injured or paralyzed or dead. Did he ever tell you who Julia was?"

I shook my head and this time I didn't dare interrupt. "She was his first love, first girlfriend he ever had. They started dating when he was a sophomore. At first I thought it would be good for him, to feel that sort of love. I even went so far as to think that she could save him. I think he thought she could save him to. One day though, they got into a fight while he was driving around in that hearse of his. They weren't all that far from our house. I could hear that terrible voice of his all the way into the living room. So I ran out into the rain and I tried to run after the car. It had slowed down and stopped not long way down. I kept chasing after them, shouting for Eli to stop. But I could see it. Even through the rain, I could see him. From the driver's seat he had manipulated Julia's body and lifted her up into the street. It wasn't all that busy a night on the road but he was just sitting there, waiting for a car to go by, relishing her screams. I was yelling for him to stop, but I don't know if he ever heard me or if the thing in side of him had just taken over to the point that he wouldn't have even recognized me. I heard a truck making its way through the puddles on moment and the next I saw Eli throw her down beneath the tires."

I'm not sure what my reaction must have looked like to Cece, but suddenly I could feel the room spinning around me and it felt as if the chair were to fall out from under me at any moment. A few seconds later I felt her hand on my shoulder as she encouraged me to take some deep breaths. She handed me a glass of water and I sipped it as she sat back down again. She waited for me to speak first.

"Thank you," I said, gesturing to the glass. She just nodded and waited for me to keep going. I looked down at the glass, watching the water condense and fall down the sides of it. "It's just…" I started. I didn't have to finish.

"Love makes smart people do stupid things. Julia was a smart girl too. She knew what Eli was like, or rather what was inside him. What that thing was capable of. But she loved him too."

I nodded, a bit relieved that she understood.

"But sometimes love is not enough. I was wrong when I thought that something could save Eli. Nothing could save Eli, even though he thinks you can save him."

I nodded again, getting tired of hearing that word, save.

"You have to let him go."

This time I shook my head. She looked at me with the deepest pity anyone could muster. "I can't…" I started fruitlessly. I tried to steel my resolve, convince myself that everything that Cece told me was right and that I should be out the door already. But I couldn't do it. I needed him. Eli never did use his powers to control my emotions towards him, but they were there, nonetheless, stronger and stronger with each passing second. All I could think about was the scared boy who ran out of church burning, not knowing what was wrong with him. He's still scared and the pain in his eyes hurts me to know end. If I alleviate that pain for even a moment, how could I leave him? How could I let him wallow alone in agony and fear? "I just can't."

Cece shook her head. "I've told you all that I can. I can't make you do anything. But I just wish you'd reconsider."

I shook my head in response and looked up at the clock over the microwave. "I think the boys are going to start to get suspicious as to where dinner is soon. It's getting a little late. What can I do to help?" I said, just as I'd said earlier in the evening. I was trying to convince myself that this was just like any other meet-the-parents situation, that we'd just have dinner and all get along.

Cece let me have my delusion for the night, trying to put on a smile. "You're quite right," she said, boiling the water. "Would you mind help me for a bit since I am a bit behind?" I suddenly realized I didn't mind at all. I wasn't sure if I wanted to face Eli at that moment.

"Sure, what can I do?"

"Start on the sauce. The recipe for it is right there. Just gather the ingredients." I nodded my acquiesce and started pulling down the salt when I heard a voice that chilled me to the bone.

"What are you doing?"

I turned around on my heel and met head on with Eli. His green eyes had disappeared for the moment and black ones were staring only inches away.

"I said what are you doing?"

My brow furrowed as I looked at Bullfrog, who had come into the kitchen behind Eli. Gone was his smile and in its place was blatant fear. He looked back at me and noticed my own fear and tried to console his son. "Eli, why don't we leave the women to their cooking? I want to play a little Halo anyway." Although he tried to chuckle, his levity fell short. The statement had barely left his lips in a whisper. Eli just ignore him and continued to face me waiting for a response.

I looked to Cece, who was just watching her son blankly. Behind her she was letting the pot boil over. I moved to point it out, but Bullfrog had already gotten it.

Eli had had his fill of waiting for my response and he grabbed my face and twisted it towards him so I had to look him in the eye once again. "I'm going to ask one more time because I'm a pretty patient man, Clare. What are you doing?"

"Cooking." As soon as I said it, I knew it was the wrong answer to his trick question.

"Then what have you been doing this entire time that you've been in the kitchen with my mother?" As he spoke about his mother he seemed to spit at the floor. I looked at Cece again, but Eli twisted my head back.

"We were just talking, Eli," Cece spoke up.

"Was I talking to you, mother?" And again Cece drifted back into corner of the kitchen, this time a bit behind Bullfrog. "Well, Clare, is that what you were doing?"

"Yes, Eli, we were just talking."

He broke out into a demonic smile. "Now, Clare you know better than to lie to me. What were you really doing?"

I knew he could control people. I was expecting to feel some sort of tug on my psyche, a compulsion to tell him the truth but there was nothing. He just trusted me to tell him the truth. Even in this state, he wouldn't hurt me, I was convinced.

"She was telling me about your abilities and about the church."

"And she told you about Julia." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," I said. "She told me about Julia."

He waited a moment. Then he motioned to the door. "Well then, go."

"What?"

"You're not a stupid girl, Clare. In the back of your mind you're thinking if that happened to her that could happen to you, too. So, go. Protect yourself." He turned his black-eyed glared away from me and focused it on Cece. "I'm curious, mother. Why is it that you hate to see me happy? Is it some sort of threat to your happiness? Do you think that you are protecting her? Because, you know, that every time you do these things, you just turn more of my hatred towards you." In that moment, I saw him lift a hand, just like he had done before the light exploded over Drew.

"No!" burst from my lips before I even realized what was happening.

Eli dropped his hand and turned back to me. "Oh, so now you protect her. You should go, Clare. Perhaps my mother is right about that."

"You don't want me to go," I said, trying to avoid his gaze and failing miserably. "And neither do it."

"You've heard the horror stories. Why stay if you know what's to come?"

Although the rational part of my brain did say to run, I found myself walking closer to him. I was completely ignoring the rational side and listening only to my impulsive nature. I stepped up to him until we were inches away again, his eyes lock on mine. Just like I'd always done when I saw those eyes, I reached up and cupped his cheek. He nuzzled closer to my hand as I stroked his cheek slightly. He reached a hand up to hold on to my hand and his eyes closed.

I lightly pressed my lips against his before leaning in to whisper in his ear. "There is nothing to be afraid of here, Eli. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. Let me stay with you."

I leaned back again to look at his face. His eyes opened slowly, as if he was fighting some sort of battle to reopen them. When they were finally fully open, I could once again see those beautiful green eyes. And then his eyes shut again as he reached a hand behind my neck and pulled me in to press his lips against mine.

**Again sorry it's been so long! I hope this super long chapter helped. I've been watching so much Degrassi lately it really got me in the mood to start writing again. Who knows, maybe I'll start another story? Don't worry though, for right now, this right here is my baby. I know how it all plays out so all I have to do is get it down on paper. Hopefully you will all read the finale by the end of the summer!**

**Review and follow! Thanks and have a great day! **


	10. Guess Who

**Hi everybody! I really just wanted to take a quick second to thank everyone who has been following, favoriting, and reviewing this story. It really means a lot to mean that you guys like it. I'm always worrying that the next chapter you guys are going to be disappointed by it and I breathe a sigh of relief when I find out that is not the case. You guys have really been making me feel like I'm a good writer and I appreciate that more than you could ever know. I don't want to waste too much of your time, but I just wanted to say thanks. Now, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: Who wants to buy me Justin Kelly and Munro Chambers? I think they should come in a set; they can't be separated. No? Okay, well then I own none of Degrassi.**

"You know that can't happen again." I looked out of the corner of my eye at Eli, waited to hear some sort of threat in his voice. I heard none and faced him full on instead.

"What?"

"Meeting my parents like that. After tonight, I've made up my mind. My mom is not a good influence on you and I don't want her trying to persuade you anymore."

"You don't trust me to be around her?"

"It's not you I don't trust. It's just her." I studied Eli carefully looking him up and down. His eyes were wary and tired; his jawbone loose and unclenched. His hands held Morty's wheel softly, unwilling to clutch it; his shoulders rested comfortably far down from his ears. His back was rounded softly against the seat. He wasn't gearing up for a fight. He didn't think I'd fight back about this and he was right.

"Okay, Eli," I mumbled, leaning back in my seat. My body soon mimicked his relaxed posture. It had been a long day. I'd learned some things I didn't want to learn and I'd seen some things I didn't want to see. But seeing Eli so relaxed seemed to give me the free rein to try to wash away some of those thoughts and just relax with him. I even think I shut my eyes for a couple of minutes.

The next thing I knew Eli's hand was on my shoulder, rubbing it softly. I moaned against the tender touch and opened my eyes to see his smirk. "Time to go, my lady."

In my slightly incoherent state, I mumbled a, "Where are we?"

He chuckled. "Home, sleepy. Seems like your bed is calling you. Want me to carry you? I don't mind."

I smiled and shook my head, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I reached for the handle of the door and, again in my slightly incoherent mindset, I asked, "Where are you going?"

"Home, Clare," he said the word is if it was bitter tasting on his tongue. He tried to look away from me and I could see his mind running with thoughts of having to see his mother again. For a brief moment I was angry at her, too, for making him so sad. But I shook the thought away. She didn't really understand. She'd seen too much to think of her son and the….demon, I guess, as being trapped in the same body. All she thought was that the demon had taken over her son. I could see how, in that mindset, she could hate the very thing that she claimed to love the most.

But that hatred and that pure fear was what was hurting Eli. I didn't think he really wanted to see his mother suffer, but the demon had made her suffer. He hated that thing inside of him for that. He hated that thing inside of him for everything it made his body do. And his own hatred caused him pain. All welled up in those deep green eyes were years and years of pain.

"You could," I suddenly found myself saying. "You could stay here. If you want." I didn't mention my parents. He could handle that. It didn't need to be said aloud.

For the first time since I met him, Eli was actually in shock. I smirked a little in triumph of seeing him speechless. When he finally did speak, he only asked, "You mean stay with you, _with you?" _

"Well, no, we talked about that…"

He cut me off. "Right, no, sorry, I know, but you really want me here? With you?"

"Yes, of course you're welcome to stay here," I said, with a smile as I leaned away from the handle and closer to him.

"Well, you know, that didn't really answer my question. Do you want me here?" he said as he leaned closer to me, a teasing smirk on his lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I want you here."

"What about your parents?" I froze for a moment, surprised that he would mention that he would do something to them, but then I realized that he hadn't shed his teasing demeanor. "I'm sure that don't want to wake up and find a half-naked guy sprawled out on the couch."

"Half-naked?"

"I never sleep with a shirt on. It's uncomfortable."

"Really?"

"A lot of guys sleep like that. Nonetheless, I don't think they want to wake up to that." Now I saw what he was getting at, but he wasn't go to get there that easily.

"Well, you could always sleep in Darcy's room," I teased, gesturing like I was shooing away that matter, like I had just solved all his problems.

"Nah," he said, his face scrunching up like he was taking great pains to mull it over. "I just wouldn't feel right since I never met her. She'd might come home from Africa and be pissed to find me sleeping in her bed."

Darcy had been in Africa for several years. I highly doubted that when, or if, she came back, she'd complain that her bed was occupied. If she did, she'd really have to analyze her sister's conscience.

I shrugged like I understood what he was saying anyway. But I didn't offer the alternative he wanted. "We have a guest room."

"But what if you have unexpected company in the night. Maybe Alli's fighting with her parents and she needs a place to crash."

I didn't mention the fact that when that does happen, she sleeps in my room. Again I shrugged. "Ok, the finished basement."

"I'm sleeping on a pool table?"

I stifled a laugh and his eyebrows raised questioningly, all the while that smirk plastered in place. "No, smart one. We have a blow up bed for you to use."

"No," he moaned, using his hand to rub his back for extra showmanship. "Those things kill my back."

This time I raised my eyebrows. "Geeze, grandpa, okay. But that's every room in the house. Unless you feel like sharing…" I trailed off for a moment and he leaned in closely. "My parents' room," I finished off.

If his smirk faltered, I didn't see it. When Eli Goldsworthy wanted something, there was no deterring him. "No," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I believe you left out one room."

"And what room might that be? All that's left is the bathroom and the kitchen. You want to make a waterbed in the bathtub?" Okay, I'll admit it. It was fun messing with him. We both knew where this was heading.

"Come on, Clare," he said, raising one eyebrow.

I took a breath as if what I was going to say was hard for me. I pretended to steady myself. I looked at him in complete shock. "Eli Goldworthy, are you asking to share my bedroom with me?"

"Well," he said. "Since you asked so nicely, yes, I'll move in right away." He move forward and kissed me softly on the lips, quick and chaste.

"No, no, no, don't you pull that. You asked me."

He looked at me in mock shock. "Clare Edwards, how could you accuse me of such a thing? Openly inviting myself into a girl's bedroom! I'd never!"

I hit him on the shoulder and he looked up in a pout. I rolled my eyes. "Come on. My parents are probably asleep. We should sneak upstairs and try not to wake them."

He looked at me with a smile and kind, soft eyes, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. "Don't worry about them." I tried not to shiver at his implications and I pushed the idea away from my mind. It didn't help when he said, "They weren't asleep when we got here, but, don't worry, I'm positive they are now."

**Reviews are so appreciated! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**


	11. Finding Religion

**Hi guys! I've been feeling really depressed lately, but that's no excuse for not updating. In fact, maybe writing will put me in a better mood. **

**Disclaimer: I wish. If I did, Clare and Eli would be married by now. And Justin Kelly would still be on the show. **

"Clare, hurry it up, we're going to be late for school."

"Since when do you care?" I said, smiling at myself in the bathroom mirror. I couldn't decide what to do with my hair. It was too short to put up, but I didn't really want to leave it down. Maybe I could pull off some sort of half-up? I tried it and it looked like my short curls had gone full on afro. I immediately took it down and tried again.

"Hey," Eli called back, "I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Like you said, maybe you'll rub off on me. I'm proving you right."

"Sure," I said, rolling my eyes. Eli had never tried to prove me right before. In fact, I'm pretty sure admitting he was wrong was an impossibility. "Now, what's the real reason?"

Eli poked his head in the bathroom door and my eyes went wide as he smirked. "Are you crazy?" I nearly shrieked, but then began to whisper as I realized my parents could hear me and wake up at any minute. "Get out."

He just watched me with a mischievous look as I stood there trying to cover myself while only in my bra and underwear. "Wow, Edwards," he said. "I wish you could go around like that all the time. Although, wait, no I don't. It's much better being the only guy who gets to see it."

Indignant, I picked up the towel I'd dropped on the floor after my shower and threw it, covering his head. "You're not allowed to see any of this, Goldsworthy."

"You're hot when you're mad," he said, taking the towel off and dropping it back down. "You're whole body reddens, like it's pulsing with anger."

"That's because I am pulsing with anger, you idiot. Get out."

"You're chest especially gets red."

At that point, I'd had it. "Stop staring at my chest! Get out!" I yelled, then covered myself in a whisper. "You're not allowed in here. That was our one, freaking rule. You're not allowed in here when I'm in here. If you're breaking it already, it's time for you to get out of the house then."

Eli's smirk faltered. "You don't have to whisper. Your parents won't bother us."

"That's not the point. I want you out of here if you're going to keep pulling this."

"I'm not, Clare, I'm sorry. I don't mean to, I just, sometimes, I don't think about what I'm saying."

"You mean you're so focused on what you want that you don't care that you're insulting me and my religion."

On the word religion, he twitched a bit, almost like the word itself caused him physical pain. It was just a mental tick though. The word only bothered him because he couldn't know what it was like to have my religion.

"It bothers you," I said, hoping I wasn't speaking too boldly. "It bothers you that you can't share that side of me with me."

He looked down at the ground, toeing it with his sneakers. "Come on," he muttered. "We're going to be late for school and you still have to get dressed."

I stared at him and looked down at myself, having almost forgotten I was standing there, indecently, with a boy. But it wasn't a boy. It was Eli.

I moved closer to him, as he kept his eyes down on the ground. "Eli," I whispered, lifting head up, cupping his cheek. His eyes looked in mine and I smiled. He gave me a watery, pained smile back. "Eli," I said again. "What's wrong?"

He stared into my eyes and I watched as they went from pained to determined to a little scared. After a while, he'd finally convinced himself to speak. "It's not that I want your religion. I'm not even sure I understand it. It's just that I think I've found my religion. It's you."

**Good or not? You can tell me. I can take it. **


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